I’m too fatigued and achy to type, so I talked about nothing for nearly 14 minutes yesterday. This video was published first on my Patreon.
Your Quarantine is My Routine
HOW ARE YOU GUYS DEALING WITH THIS? HMU
First Firsts of the New Year
Welp. I was going to go all out on a post for yesterday, but then I got caught up in a flare and succumbed to unconsciousness for 15 hours.
new heating pad courtesy of my not-so-secret Santa
Haven’t talked about it much since I found out, but there’s a lot of stuff that I found out.
I thought I was experiencing dementia and pre-menopausal symptoms. Well, I was, but that’s not the cause.
Remember all those videos of me freaking out about things? Yeah, well, turns out I’ve got Crohn’s Disease, among other things. I’ve been flaring hard for the past several months without a break.
So yeah, didn’t really get out of the gate at all yesterday. First Flare of the Year is in progress. I’m going to lie back down and figure out my plan.
Happy 2020, y’all
Referrals–Bring a Friend
I promised I’d give you guys a few ways to make some extra money– coming just in time for the holidays– while helping me in the process.
I’d like to thank you in advance for using my referrals. I’m having a tough time right now, and every bit of money will help.
Achievemint : Pays you for working out. I don’t work out, but I walk my dog, and it counts.
10k points gets you a $10 PayPal cashout.
There’s also a 500k point drawing v. soon. Don’t hesitate.
Cashapp : Similar to PayPal and Venmo. Technically, I’ll be getting a referral reward and you’ll be able to refer as well. My code: NTCXHVQ
My code: NTCXHVQ
Checkout 51 : Shopping app that gives you rebates for certain products. $20 to cash out.
Fetch : Turn any grocery receipt into savings! Use my referral code AG4XV during signup and you’ll get 2,000 Fetch Points!
Ibotta : The most popular shopping app, Ibotta has a better variety of deals than the others. The products listed may not be your usual or the least expensive, but I’ve made a fair chunk of change over the years, and found some new faves.
Inbox Dollars: IB is a survey site that has more than surveys to help you earn.
You can get a PayPal payout at $30, but if you wait until $40 they will waive the $3 processing fee that absolutely no one else charges. But then they give it right back to you once your payment is processed.
Receipt Pal: I’m using Receipt Pal to earn great rewards for my receipts and thought you might like to do the same. Use my link to download the app and start earning rewards! You’ll get me bonus points too!
Save your grocery receipts. Receipt Pal will help you turn them to gift cards (Amazon cash, etc)
Savvy Co-op: Savvy Co-op is focus group for health. They have many different studies available that pay pretty well.
The study I’ve linked you to is about IBD, Crohn’s, etc. If you sign up, I might get $25 for the referral. Even if I don’t, this is definitely worth it.
Shopkick is a grocery store audit app. You scan certain products at the store for points, buy some of those products,
get more points. You can get a $10 payout at 2550 “kicks” and that doesn’t take long at all.
Here’s my code: NICE584852
Survey Merchandiser: Another grocery auditing app, but this one acts a tiny bit more like an employer.
They are all about professionalism when you go in and take pictures of products, talk to managers about new displays, place neck hangers, clean freezers. It can pay $6 and up and you can also apply to do demos or resets, which gets you more money.
They pay out via PayPal once you have at least $5.
My code: samanthagZP8R
Survey Savvy: These guys have higher and more consistent payouts per survey. Only thing with these guys is
they pay out with a check, but it’s usually pretty worth it.
Swagbucks: These guys are the real deal when it comes to quick payouts. Like Inbox Dollars, there are manynways to earn. And you can do PayPal or choose from a big selection of gift cards–sometimes they’re on sale!
Vindale: Another survey site that pays pretty well. It just takes a bit longer, since there are fewer ways to earn.
Ok folks. I did the thing. It took 4 years, but I scoured and researched and this is but a chunk to show for it. But it helped me and maybe it’ll help you.
Remember Me?
So hey. It’s been a while. Things are very different in my world.
I am the proud owner of approximately 13 chronic illnesses. I’ll jump into them all later, but brain fog and fatigue, as well as vision and memory issues have taken their toll.
I’m currently unable to work a regular job, so money is very much an issue. I’m trying to do whatever I can to cobble together money for bills and necessities.
When I come to you now, I come with a mission. A mission to help people in my situation.
And in helping you, I can get helped as well.
Tomorrow I’ll be posting a list of referral links to different sites to make money. No pyramid schemes, but your Spam folder will probably get a workout.
At some point after that I’ll be posting a list of resources that I’ve gathered thus far.
I’m hoping to be able to be present more often. After all, I’ve got plenty of not exciting diagnoses to talk about.
But for now, it’s past my bedtime.
O Brave New World!
I get to embark upon a new journey.
Yesterday, I was diagnosed with yet another chronic illness.
Ok.
I have a pcp appointment tomorrow to discuss the new fun.
I have so many pills to take.
I have so much to do.
So. Instead of all that,
Nug and I are lying in bed, binging Brooklyn 99, playing computer mahjong, while laundry happens.
My self-care sucks. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.
Banner Week For Health Issues
I’m too tired to be clever with titles today. I’ve got a migraine, one that may have been kicked off as a result of the muscle relaxing injection I got at my 2nd Doc in the Box visit this week, or it might have just shown up because I’m stupid dehydrated and am doing very little to rectify that situation.
Yeah, I know. My own fault. Drink more water, get some more Gatorade or Pedialyte. Stop drinking soda.
Listen. I’m not allowed to have energy drinks for my migraines anymore, so I’ve got to have SOME form of caffeine. So get off my back. I have a soda with ice, a cup of ice, and a bottle of water to my right. I’m sure they will all be finished off before my first relief shows up.
My back isn’t as bad as it has been this week. I’m finally not about to cry because of the pain. Doctors are so terrified these days to prescribe anything painkillery, that those of us now have to suffer. Thanks to all the addict doctors and their addict friends and such assholery.
I can’t really get much of a break. Bad health week means I’m exhausted, in pain, and need extra rest to heal. I feel GUILTY about using my PTO that I’ve EARNED over the past 10 years, I don’t have any money and no real desire to work for a vacation, so I don’t claim much time for myself unless it’s Sick Days. But this week? I could actually use a span of time where I stay at home and take care of myself and my home.
But this week? This week starts the vacation exodus for the PART TIMERS. Who’ve already had MULTIPLE vacations this week. Spouses with money, don’t ya love it? Not at ALL bitter b/c I don’t get my birthday weekend off…I was just going to get a colonoscopy that weekend anyway. But my co-manager is off this weekend performing an act of kindness, so I can’t bitch too hard about that, but Minion 1 leaves on Sunday for a week, Minion 2 leaves on Thursday for about a week…and then expects to have more time off for certain other things. Which normally, I would be cool about, but these folks are not about respecting MY time, when I do all that I can to respect theirs. But I’m a salaried worker, so I should just be their slave instead of their manager, right? THAT’S why I get paid the Big Bucks* (*Big Bucks just = the same amount of money every pay period that’s all)
So yay for my birthday fun that will get pushed back a week? Oh probably not. I don’t do fun (well, last year was Waffles and an Escape Room, so that was fun, but maybe not this year). And I just want some time where I have very little responsibility except to myself. JUST FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
But nope. I’ll be planning my revenge.
I’m cranky and hormonal and blathery. It shouldn’t take leaving early 4 days to get ONE sick day, yet this is how it goes.
My Last Nerve
Sciatica is the name of today’s game. I went to my favorite Urgent Care yesterday with a vague idea of having a UTI (b/c the idea was planted in my head), but it actually wasn’t a UTI. I’m extremely dehydrated. And my back is killing me. Yesterday it was at a 6, but it’s been at a 12 all day today, making it extremely difficult to move. I can’t stretch, I can’t bend or arch.
And of course, it’s all my fault. I haven’t had enough water, or things to replenish my electrolytes, and I went out in the heat the other day and sweat in weird places and lost all my water while looking through my storage closet. And I guess the moving of the boxes in that storage closet are actually what caused my sciatica to freak out.
So all of that is basically inflammatory to my whole body, which is causing what we believe to be Colitis to freak out as well. So my back and my gut and general being are being attacked.
I’m so so tired, but Nugget wants to go out…I’m thinking that our last tiny car trip to Cane’s for toast and chicken is our last outing for the day. So I’m back in bed, where I’ve been all day, icing and heating my back, chewing on ice, binging The Office. I had a nap earlier, but the two Flexeril I took before my nap are still making me a bit sleepy. I’m yelling about Angela’s baby, creepy Gabe, and wondering who the Scranton Strangler is while my doggo lies on the floor, waiting for her nemesis to appear.
I hope the nemesis stays where she is. I’m tired, and would like to sleep through the night. But that’s a joke. I get up and pee many times. I’m not well rested. Tomorrow is going to suck, for sure.
Bring it on.
There Is No Spoon…At Least, Not Today
I’m so tired. Like, about to fall asleep tired. And it’s all Summer’s fault. The heat triggers the bat signal for my CFS, and as a result, I’m sitting here at work, a little zombified. I did not want to get out of bed today. I didn’t want to wake up. My first alarm, 7:30, is a new addition to the phone’s alarm collection. When it went off, I could barely crack open my eyes. But I didn’t have to, not right then.
So alarm goes off an hour later, and I’m still extremely foggy and my eyes are closed. I try to cuddle with my dog for a little, but she’s ready to go out for a bit, so eventually I drag myself into a sitting position.
That right there? Took 3 spoons from my collection of 12 that I start out every day with. It took another 2 to get dressed and get the dog walked and get to work. The lower back pain I’m experiencing will take another one, so I’m down 50% and my day hasn’t even really begun yet.
Hence the reason I’m sitting at my work computer, waiting for a delivery, scrolling on Twitter or writing this. Or staring at the coconut yogurt I should be eating right now instead of the crushed Sonic ice.
I’ve been extra sensitive to extreme temperatures for the past couple of years, due to the Fibro and the CFS–who knew?–and I get extra freaking tired when it’s just hot. I was born in July, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy July. I used to practically live outside when I worked for Oklahoma Shakespeare in the Park, and the heat SUCKED. Like, bad, but I could take it.
I can no longer take it. I just can’t. I love air conditioning too much. I like being able to breathe, and not sweating out my eyeballs like I did yesterday.
Sunday I spent a couple of hours outdoors in a warmish pool. It was nice. Wasn’t insanely hot or sunny by the time we got out there, but it was fine. I got home and was EXHAUSTED. Yesterday, I go over to my storage unit on a mission, and I’m sweating in weird places, and heavily. I get back to work, drink a bottle of water, pee it out, and sit down, mostly fine.
TODAY, however is another story. Eyes glued shut, back killing me, knees creaking, junk in the lungs, no strength or energy to do much of anything. Including eating coconut yogurt.
I’d better get it in gear. I’ve got a trainee coming in at 11 and I’ve got to be able to entertain him with things to do.
I Want To Die
Let me rephrase. I FEEL like I want to die. I don’t think I actually do, though. I think that one of my meds is making my brain turn against me, which means I need to get rid of that medicine.
I am not normally a happy person. I’m a realist; I say what’s on my mind, usually the truth no one wants to hear.
Right now, though, I’m feeling very much like a fatalist.
I’ve been feeling Off for the past couple of weeks, and I’ve had two days so far where everything is TOO MUCH to deal with, and every worry I could ever have comes to the surface and ends with me sobbing all day through work.
Today is one of those days.
I’ve been crying over my dog (what happens to me if I die, and vice versa), my job (which is kind of in danger and I have absolutely no marketable skills other than selling booze), where I’m going to live in the future, getting a house with a yard for my dog….Pretty much everything.
My anxiety is through the roof right now and I have LOST my anti-anxiety meds. Yes, LOST a brand new prescription, which means I’ll have to go see my doctor to get a new prescription. Normally, that’s no problem, but I have anxiety about DRIVING as well, and my doctor isn’t in town, but 15 miles away, which is approximately a 30 minute drive (on back roads, because I cannot drive the highway with this anxiety). So I’m freaking out about that, too. So no meds to take care of that which is being caused by another med until I can get to the place that can give me meds. Make sense?
So I have to wait a few more days to get this taken care of. I had a buddy help me out with some Ativan, and that started to make me feel normal, for about 3 days. But I can’t ask someone else with anxiety to give up their meds for me, not when they need them as well.
I just have to wait, and hope that I can make it through these few days, hope that I can stop bawling over my dog, the future, nothing, everything, and hope that I can stop being afraid of all of this stuff.
This is what is happening with me right now. I am aware, I [mostly] KNOW what is wrong right now. But that doesn’t make it any better. I’m trying to breathe and get through this, and there are people who have offered their emotional support, and I am so so SO blessed (yes, blessed) to have these people in my corner.
So thanks for understanding what’s going on with me. If you don’t see much from me, this is why.
Check It Out, I Actually GO OUTSIDE
As the title states, I actually go outside ( and when it’s bright as hell, I do wear giant black sunglasses over my glasses, so?) and give an update while walking my dog. It’s in this that I briefly speak about my [new] diagnosis.
85 Is The New 100 