Not in the Mood

I’m having a bad night. As the title suggests, I am NOT in the mood for much of anything tonight. I’m cranky, sad, tense, and not feeling well in general. I have an early day tomorrow, so I’m writing this blog and then I am going to go lie down with a movie. Possibly a notebook to sketch out chapter 5 before I pass out, but we’ll see.

I am sad. I feel REALLY sad. I’m angry. I hate not being able to be in control. I hate how things have to be. I am not altogether displeased with the status quo, I just wish I could take care of things without stressing out, and with a little help.

Help is something else I have sacrificed in my race to survive. If I can’t do it/get it/take care of it on my own, then that’s it. It doesn’t happen.

I didn’t get much done last night until after I logged off. I took a notebook with me to bed and wrote part of Chapter 4.
I just input that work into the computer. That got me 393 words.

I kept going for just a little bit longer so that I could have SOMETHING to show for this evening. Tonight I added 371 more words. Hopefully I can at least get one more little scene out of the way by longhand. After all, tomorrow is the 31st, and it’s time to see what I got accomplished in this past month, and set some new goals for September.

But for now, I am going to find something that won’t put me in an even more rotten mood, maybe even to help lift the mood.

But I’m not holding my damn breath.

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