If I Had a Million Dollars…or Almost a Billion…

Cue the Barenaked Ladies’ song!

So there’s apparently this Mega Million Jackpot Lottery Whatsits happening…a couple of hours ago…I had no idea there was a big ol’ jackpot for the taking until people were talking about it today. I was at work all night, so no, I did NOT get a ticket.

HOWEVER, if I HAD won this big bag of money, let me tell you what I’d do with it.
Let me just say this. I am poor white trash who cannot be taken out of the overgrown lawn. Money probably wouldn’t change ME, just the way I lived. I would still be poor white trash in Beverly Hills or something. Except in Oklahoma, the BH equivalent is probably Nichols Hills. And it is so not Beverly.

But here is what I would do:

Number One on my list, is to, of course, take care of my debt. I have a massive amount of debt that I never learned how to take care of & made really bad mistakes. I would pay for those.

2. I would get myself a new home, and all that it entails. I haven’t lived in an actual house in ten years. I would love some space, a lawn, back porch, dogs, cats.

3. Cars. Two. A 4 door something or other, and some sort of truck.

4.I’d give $$$ to the family I never talk to anymore. Then they’d be happy.

5.Shopping. Spree. I haven’t gotten new clothes in YEARS.

6.I’d buy stock in a company to get more money later on.

7.My friends. I’d settle old debts.

8. I’d give money to what I love. Buy a building & all the necessary stuff for a theatre company.

9.I would give money to the University of Central Oklahoma, my alma mater, to the theatre department. Renovate Mitchell Hall theatre, get more scholarships out, new learning opportunities.

10. Travel. I haven’t been out of Oklahoma in 10 years. I need a vacation.

11.Charity–HIV awareness, bullying, depression, cancer, Sarah McLachlan’s sad ass dogs and cats, hungry kids.

12. I would throw a bunch of money to help fund a presidential campaign. “Lady Gaga for President.” Please don’t think I’m joking when I say this.

13. Time machine. I’d buy/find someone to build me a time machine. And then I’d go back in time to live some more. I won’t step on any butterflies, but maybe a few different decisions. I don’t know that these decisions would change anything–for instance, I get this money to get a time machine & I go back in time and change a few things here and there…what happens if I change something too much and don’t actually end up getting the winning ticket this next time around?

14. I wouldn’t have to worry. I’m always worrying about something.

Yup. If I had a million dollars…I’d be rich.


Writing a Book is HARD–And Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Otherwise

If anyone says writing is easy, obviously no one has ever really tried it.
Remember how I started this story on August 1, 2011? And now I thought I could really get it done in thirty days?

[insert laugh track here]

It’s been eight months and I’m still working on this one story, trying to get it right, trying to perfect it. Or at least, get it as right as I can so I don’t look like a total idiot when/if it comes out.

This is a painstaking process that requires a LOT of patience. I’m not a patient sort of gal. I want to get this one taken care of and out in the world so I can get down to the stories that are calling my name, wanting my attention.



It doesn’t help that I’m “trying to do something” here that’s a little out of the norm. It’s kind of like Lady Gaga’s meat dress, or hell, pretty much anything she wears. There’s a concept, an idea, a reasoning…

A method to the madness.

I might be trying to do too much that might just confuse and piss off a bunch of readers. I’m trying to show how a character goes from living in her head with more exposition than normal, to sharing her thoughts with others. I’m also trying to show how another character passes a baton of sorts to another.


I know that it makes sense to my confused, unfocused brain, but I don’t know how others will receive it, if they will think it’s a hot mess, or something interesting.

I’m not searching for accolades…perhaps a good review or two, and maybe some really awful ones. I’ve gotten some excellent feedback from some beta readers that I’m incorporating into my edits. (THANK YOU, IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE READERS.) These folks have really helped me along quite a bit, pointing me in better directions.

But guess what? It’s been about a month and a half or so, and I’ve only finished the re-re-re-re-rewrites of Chapter One and the first part of Chapter Two. And I feel like I’m bobbing like a buoy in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by sharks. I know all that I can do is work on it, hone it the best that I can, and when I *feel* that it’s done, send it out into the universe, by way of self publication or an actual factual publisher.

But getting to that point is (say it with me) HARD!!!

This story is my meat dress. I want people to like it, but there will be so many people who won’t. I can’t make everyone happy…I just need to make sure I can do it right.