If I Had a Million Dollars…or Almost a Billion…

Cue the Barenaked Ladies’ song!

So there’s apparently this Mega Million Jackpot Lottery Whatsits happening…a couple of hours ago…I had no idea there was a big ol’ jackpot for the taking until people were talking about it today. I was at work all night, so no, I did NOT get a ticket.

HOWEVER, if I HAD won this big bag of money, let me tell you what I’d do with it.
Let me just say this. I am poor white trash who cannot be taken out of the overgrown lawn. Money probably wouldn’t change ME, just the way I lived. I would still be poor white trash in Beverly Hills or something. Except in Oklahoma, the BH equivalent is probably Nichols Hills. And it is so not Beverly.

But here is what I would do:

Number One on my list, is to, of course, take care of my debt. I have a massive amount of debt that I never learned how to take care of & made really bad mistakes. I would pay for those.

2. I would get myself a new home, and all that it entails. I haven’t lived in an actual house in ten years. I would love some space, a lawn, back porch, dogs, cats.

3. Cars. Two. A 4 door something or other, and some sort of truck.

4.I’d give $$$ to the family I never talk to anymore. Then they’d be happy.

5.Shopping. Spree. I haven’t gotten new clothes in YEARS.

6.I’d buy stock in a company to get more money later on.

7.My friends. I’d settle old debts.

8. I’d give money to what I love. Buy a building & all the necessary stuff for a theatre company.

9.I would give money to the University of Central Oklahoma, my alma mater, to the theatre department. Renovate Mitchell Hall theatre, get more scholarships out, new learning opportunities.

10. Travel. I haven’t been out of Oklahoma in 10 years. I need a vacation.

11.Charity–HIV awareness, bullying, depression, cancer, Sarah McLachlan’s sad ass dogs and cats, hungry kids.

12. I would throw a bunch of money to help fund a presidential campaign. “Lady Gaga for President.” Please don’t think I’m joking when I say this.

13. Time machine. I’d buy/find someone to build me a time machine. And then I’d go back in time to live some more. I won’t step on any butterflies, but maybe a few different decisions. I don’t know that these decisions would change anything–for instance, I get this money to get a time machine & I go back in time and change a few things here and there…what happens if I change something too much and don’t actually end up getting the winning ticket this next time around?

14. I wouldn’t have to worry. I’m always worrying about something.

Yup. If I had a million dollars…I’d be rich.


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