One Woman’s Romance is Another Woman’s Electric Bill

I’m pretty sure I have a different idea of romance than most everyone else. And I mean personally, not in writing, necessarily.

Candlelight dinners can be amazing, I’m sure. Receiving diamonds and roses and Godiva chocolate from your love, thrilling. But you know what? I’d set the table on fire, lose the diamonds, ruin the roses, and eat the Godiva in one sitting. So let’s scratch all of that. Actually, keep the Godiva on hand.

Now, I’m definitely not an expert on “Real Life” romance, but I know what I would fall for. And it’s not diamonds or too-expensive flowers that are just going to die because I kill all living green things in my care.

I don’t need a candlelight dinner. Maybe a favorite takeout dish, on the couch, in front of the tv, marathoning one of my favorite shows, or watching a movie that makes me and my S.O. (Significant Other) laugh until we pee. I love laughing and I love watching laughter happening.

I don’t need diamonds. I don’t wear much jewelry. If you give me something expensive, that is a sure sign I’m going to lose it. And then complain that whatever I receive could have paid some of my bills.

Roses are lovely. Who doesn’t like roses? Well, I’m sure there are some people out there who can’t stand them. I’m not one of them. I think they’re gorgeous and smell amazing. And then they wither and die because I do not have a green thumb. Bouquets are overkill. Give me ONE rose, give me ONE carnation, ONE sunflower, ONE daisy, and I would be sky high.

Buying your S.O. candy and silly stuffed animals imprinted with hearts is…pedestrian. You know what I want instead of a giant heart-shaped box of chocolates? A giant bar of Cadbury. A huge bag of M&Ms(plain, please). And stuffed animals aren’t necessary. Like, ever, really.

If I wanted someone to show me they loved me, I would want it Every Day and not just on Valentine’s Day. I don’t need you to buy me a card. Text me a winky face. Rub my shoulders. Draw me a bubble bath. Lay down with me on the couch and spoon.

People sometimes make too much of Valentine’s Day, sometimes make it too hard. They think too much and end up having to go to Walgreens for that last gorilla that plays “Wild Thing” and that last 99 cent box of crappy chocolates. All you have to do is think of your love and what you think would make them happy. Do something for them that makes them light up inside and out. It doesn’t always have to cost much. Love is free, man.

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