Staring at a blank page, trying to think of what to do for chapter two of a story I’ve been working on, and nothing is coming to me. And I have been trying everything I can to get away from that blank page, finding so many ways to procrastinate…So here I am, attempting to put down some form of words down, trying to create SOMETHING, ANYTHING…other than what I really need to be working on. And I have a lot to be working on.
I have a novel that needs editing, a friend’s novel I’m checking out, and I’m also trying to work on *deep breaths* some fanfiction.
I said it out loud. And it’s ok.
I write fanfiction.
Ok, to clarify, and NOT to backpedal, I DO write fanfiction, but I do NOT write THAT kind of fic…not yet.
Lemme clarify even further.
I started reading and writing fic about a year ago. At first, it was just for fun, but it gradually became an important thing. Not only am I having fun in someone else’s playground, but I am also learning how to do certain things. For instance, I’m not great at suspense or mystery or intricate plots. Reading stories that contain these elements show me what I should and should not be doing, and then I try to apply that to my own fic, which I will then try to apply to my novels.
There really are some fantastic writers hidden away in fandom, folks who should be published and praised for their ingenuity and ability to create new situations and infuse them with so much emotion it rolls off the screen right into your soul. Yes, I have published a book, one I worked on for YEARS, and yes, I have published a few fanworks, but I would like nothing more than to be able to write like these folks. Yes, gang, the green eyed monster is awake. But instead of just being jealous and pouty, I keep working. Even if there’s a blank page in front of me begging for words that just aren’t coming. I read more to try to get me out of the hole, and even more recently, I’ve started talking about fanfiction and certain stories and why they work and don’t work–in public, with real people.
At first, I hid my obsession with fic, like I was ashamed. And maybe I was. But then I was able to fangirl with a friend I now get to work with over one of our favorite shows, and I introduced him to my world of fanfic. As a result of this, I have had actual conversations in public Twitter with a couple of other fandom friends…and it felt freeing to be able to discuss and squee.
So moral of the story: Enjoy what you enjoy. Talk about it. Don’t hide yourself in shame. Let your freak flag fly. Chances are you’ll learn something new and you’ll find others who have similar interests so you don’t have to feel alone.