Birthday Blog-o-rama Monday: Twenty Questions

1:Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Abso-damn-lutely. I used to live with a shaggy ghost dog. He would just run from room to room. He never bothered me.

There’s a rumor of a ghost in my college theater…some say he’s made up. I say I’ve had a run-in or two with him after hours.

There’s got to be an explanation for all those missing socks. Why not ghosts?

And aliens? Of course. We’re probably the aliens. We can’t be arrogant enough to think we’re the only ones in this Universe.

2:Do you believe in magic?

Up to a point. There’s slight of hand stuff, things that “master illusionists” do, but that’s not real magic. That’s sparkly entertainment.  To me, “real” magic comes from nature.

3:Do you believe in luck?

Sure I do. I won $50 on a scratcher last week.

I also have had multiple tire blowouts in one day.

4:Do you have any nicknames?

Sam, Samson, Slam, Slamalamadingdong, Sammy J, Rodgers and Sammerstein is probably my favorite. Sam I Am. Slamma. Platter. That’s one that’s stuck since freshman year of college. I love it.

5:What do you think is Satan’s last name is?

Pretty sure it’s Jones. IMG_20140713_112133_120

 

 

 

 

 

 

6:What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

She learned the hard way that there’s no Wi Fi in prison.

7:If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would I say?

Probably something completely embarrassing and not me that would send me into hiding.

8:  You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Teleportation, dude. I hate driving. I hate traffic. I hate drivers in my town. I’d rather be splinched.

9: Had sex in public?

Sort of. Friend’s bathroom count?

1o: One of your scars, how did you get it?

I tell people it’s from a knife fight in Korea, but I actually had a “submandibular sebaceous cyst” removed about 10 years ago.

IMG_20140715_123641_404

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11: What you’d do if you won the lottery.

Keep it secret. Pay off all my debts. Start fresh. Buy a good home and a decent car. Take some time off to write. Get back to work.

12: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Freaking always. All the roles I never got cast in. All the relationships i tried for. Life in general sometimes.

13:  Are you afraid of heights?

Yes. And I blame the Big Slide I fell from the first day of Kindergarten. Got all the way to the top of the ladder, couldn’t slide, too scared. Tried to go back down the ladder, which was full of kids, slipped and fell, hitting my head all the way down.

14: How many kids do you want and what will be their names?

None. There were too many children around me when I was younger who were awful, so I always said I wanted my tubes tied for my birthday. But that didn’t stop me from trying to claim names. Well, a nephew and a niece have both stolen the names I would have used.

Besides, I can barely take care of myself, can’t keep plants alive. Babies need even more care than plants. Also, I’m afraid of commitment. And that’s a lifetime right there.

15: Were you named after anyone?

I hear I was supposed to be named after someone’s grandmother. “Samaritha.” I am very glad that got changed. Can you imagine the taunting? “SamURETHRA”? Nope.

16: Do you like your handwriting?

It’s kind of serial killery. It changes a lot. Maybe.

17: Peed outside?

Only once. And I ended up peeing on myself.

18: Been to a professional sports game?

Texas Rangers baseball game. Fell asleep.

19: First name and its meaning?

Samantha is Aramaic for “listener.” Accurate name is accurate.

20: Worst enemy?

Myself, of course.

And my four personalities.

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