Birthday Blog-o-rama Wednesday: Empathin’ Ain’t Easy

I’m pretty sure I’ve used that title before, but once again, I’m worn out and exhausted and my brain is mush.

So I used to refer to myself as a witch. Like,  a wicca, nature, magic-type witch. I mean, I still do, but it means something so very different these days. It used to mean that I was mildly psychic, could predict the next song on the radio before it came on, call up the wind upon occasion, read people and other things.

But things started to change a little for me. I used to be extremely high strung, always upset, my mind whirling, my emotions a crazy tempest.

But then I realized that not all of that stuff might not be MINE.

And luckily, I have a few ladies in my life who understand this sort of thing. And one of them, bless her face and intuition, sent me this blog post: Are You An Empath?

In that post, there are 30 traits of an empath. Many of these traits resonated with me so loudly my ears are still ringing.

 1.     Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing.

For me, Knowing has been hard to explain to others because there are people out there who will say, “Oh, that will change someday” or “You can’t know that for sure.”

Oh yes I can.

2.     Being in public places can be overwhelming.

Abso-damn-lutely. There are so many people with so many emotions and issues flying around they get stuck on me. That’s why I go only to places that I HAVE to go, otherwise my life is hellacious.

 3.     Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for empaths. To some they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from great distance.

I’m insecure just for this reason. I can kind of tell when someone doesn’t like me, even if they act like they do. I’m insecure with people I have known for years and love. It’s very difficult to balance.

 4.     Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

 5.     You know when someone is not being honest.

I’m a little less apt at reading this, but there are definitely signs.

 6.     Picking up physical symptoms off another.

Dude. And don’t think this doesn’t piss me right the hell off.

 7.     Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an empath, will almost always be ungrounded.

Let’s see. I was hospitalized for intestinal issues, I’ve had IBS, I’ve had stomach troubles my whole life, I have the most weight around my middle, and I have extremely bad lower back problems.

Yahtzee!

8.     Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an empath’s attention and compassion.

I have some REAL issues watching the commercials with the Sarah McLachlan dogs or the starving children. I’m not cold-hearted when I change the channel, I care. Trust me, I do, but it always upsets as if it is happening to me or someone right next to me. I feel secondhand embarrassment for some people sometimes. I want people to do better for themselves.

 9.     Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers. 

I’m not a bartender, but I sell booze, and boy, do I hear some problems. I have been in a certain situation for a very long time now where I am THE sounding board for a certain situation. I have had to cut all communication with the person involved because I just canNOT deal with this situation or the stress and problems it causes me.

 10.    Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure.

Right now, I am EXHAUSTED. I am worn out. I’ve been on vacation for three days. I felt great, I was relaxing, I was chilling out and reading and lying around, cleaning, writing, watching my shows. I was having a good time. Until yesterday afternoon, when my body decided to have a panic attack. And this morning I woke up feeling like I did just before I caught a cold about a month or so ago.

 11.    Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions that empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It is a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something.

Absolutely. I don’t drink very much. I’ve never liked it as much as others. Yes, I sell booze, and I try things, but I don’t just sit at home and have a drink for the heck of it. My drinking has a purpose.

I quit smoking a year and a half ago.

Drugs…well, better left unsaid with that, but suffice it to say I’m drug free these days. Have been for a very long time.

I sleep, I read, I marathon tv, I drink caffeine to excess. These are my vices. Oh, and I’m addicted to the internet.

12.    Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical.

White light from those I know has been very helpful in my life.

 13.   Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination.

Hello.

 14.    Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.

Ok, I don’t necessarily like going outside because of where I live, and the extreme weather we have here, but I do love the moon and stars on a clear night. I love walking in grass without shoes. I love catching a breeze on a warm night.

 15.    Need for solitude.

I used to be around so many people. And it was chaotic. I loved my people. They were and are very important to me. But now I HAVE to be alone to be balanced, centered, to NOT be crazy.

 16.    Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated.

I am unfocused and flit from one thing to another at times.

 17.   Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many empaths get labelled as being lazy.

BAM.

 18.   Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.

I hate being false. I think that’s why I rarely got cast in any theatre productions in college.

 19.   Always looking for the answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.

 20.  Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.

I find this a little less to apply to me. I used to want to travel, but I’ve grown roots. I like staying in one place.

 21.  Abhors clutter: It makes an empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.

I spend a big chunk of time at home trying to get rid of all the clutter in my apartment, but it somehow gets worse.

 22.  Loves to daydream: An empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.

And believe me, I’ve got some fun daydreams.

 23.  Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning.

It’s tough to be an empath with anxiety and a touch of OCD. Routine is good for me. When I get jostled out of my rut, it’s problematic.

 24.  Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.

I’ve been a heavy child since the age of 6. There has only been one time in my life that I’ve been under 200 lbs, and I was not living a very healthy lifestyle.

Yes, some of the weight has to do with eating, lack of exercise, but no matter how much I cut down or exercise, it never goes away.

 25.  Excellent listener: An empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.

I do like to talk a lot. But my name is Aramaic for “Listener.”

 26.  Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own.

Dude. DUDE.

 27.   The ability to feel the days of the week: An empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.

I can feel the world sometimes, even without tuning in. It’s kind of obnoxious sometimes.

 28.   Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.

Yeah, not too much of a fan of bringing in things of people I don’t know.

 29.   Sense the energy of food: Many empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.

I love bacon, so…I dunno about this one.

 30.   Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.

I feel like crap today, and my temper is somewhat short. I’m not finding it too difficult to put my public face on. My public face really isn’t too far from just me. I just add this weird smile I don’t know I’m doing until it’s happening. But all of the above there is true.

 

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